North for Winter

New Music Monday

Mon, 28 May 2012 13:52:49 +1000

Everyone hates Monday’s, to make my Monday’s better I like to try and find a new artist/band/comedian that I haven’t as yet discovered. Sometimes I have great success and they go straight to the favourites list, which makes the rest of the week entirely more tolerable. Here are some artists that everyone should check out and come highly recommended by me: (I’d sell them more, but I’m really not good with my words today so just do it yeah?)

All of these tracks are available for free download from the links provided - if you like what you hear, investigate each artist further, like them on facebook, follow them on twitter, buy their music support them in everyway that you can. It’s important.

Aleister X - Topanga Strangla

The Black Hills - Fuzzy Dice

Matt Banham - String Song (feat. Stephanie Crase)

This is what has taken up my spare out of office hours this...

Fri, 25 May 2012 16:57:48 +1000

This is what has taken up my spare out of office hours this week. I’m proud to say it’s on sale and there’s going to be some pretty rad surprises on the night….and I’m not talking about a repeat of 2002’s infamous dodgem car disaster either!

alistcomedy:

COMEDY STARS ALIGN FOR SHAUNʼS KICK ASS PARTY
A NIGHT OF COMEDY & DISCO TO CELEBRATE A BRAVE YOUNG LIFE

The cream of an Australian comedy community known as The ʻHood will come together under the one roof for a very special event to celebrate the young and brave life of local 17 year old boy Shaun Miller, fulfilling one of his remaining wishes to throw a “kick-ass” party to raise awareness for Heartkids Victoria.

“Shaunʼs Kick Ass Party” is an all ages event to be held on Friday, June 15th, hosted at Luna Park in St Kilda with delicious canapés and a BBQ. Fancy beverages, free rides, stand-up comedy and special guest appearances from some of Shaun’s favourite celebrities and sporting heroes.

With RocKwiz host Brian Nankervis as MC on the night, five hours of non-stop entertainment will be laid on by comedians Chris Franklin, Doug Chappel, Mick Neven, Greg Fleet, Bev Killick, The Nelson Twins and Vic Plume, with DJ sets by Fiona Scott-Norman and Dave Callan.

Says Bev, “When Cameron Miller approached me about helping to organise a party for Shaun, I didn’t hesitate”.
“I like to party and I’ve been pretty good at throwing them over the years. It’s been an absolute pleasure having their trust in me to get on and organize it …. plus, I’m a Hoody, and now Shaun and Cameron are honorary Hoodies.”

Says Brian, “The Melbourne comedy community has a rich history of coming together to tirelessly support worthy causes of all kinds.
“I am delighted to be involved in Shaunʼs Kick AssParty at Luna Park. Letʼs all get together and have some fun!”

TV and radio personalities will join the party, along with a slew of celebrities from the entertainment and sporting worlds.

There will also be an appearance by local rapper B-Mike, who was so touched by Shaunʼs farewell message to his friends on YouTube that he wrote a song titled “Stay Strong” which he will perform at the party.

In between the entertainment, Luna Park will open its famous rides for party guests, with food and drink provided, all for just $85 (adults) and $40 (kids – under 18 years; free entry for children under the age of two).

Click here to purchase tickets

On the Road - Official Trailer 2012 [HD] Kristen Stewart Movie...

Mon, 21 May 2012 14:41:18 +1000

On the Road - Official Trailer 2012 [HD] Kristen Stewart Movie (by PlayTraiIers)

I love this novel so fucking much that I am not making any judgements or getting any pre-conceived ideas about the film until I decide if I’m going to see it or not.

What I didn’t think about when I got my tattoo in such a visible place was the film coming out and it potentially becoming some kind of cliche. But when I think about it, who fucking cares. I got it for my own reasons and it doesn’t matter what people who see it think. If anything people might stop asking me if it has something to do with Jesus…

(this photo was taken only about an hour after it was done, that’s why its so feral looking I haven’t actually got another proper photo of it.)

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’

"T-rex" skeleton sold for one million dollars

Mon, 21 May 2012 14:00:33 +1000

"T-rex" skeleton sold for one million dollars:

SEX WITH T-REX THIS IS HELLA FUCKING COOL!

dailyfossil:

Heritage Auctions had their big center piece auction anyway, basically ignoring the courts. Its a conditional sale, so at least the buyer, whoever it is, can’t disappear with the specimen right away.

Press release from the link above:

Tyrannosaurus Brings $1,052,500 At Heritage Auctions New York

Conditional Sale of Tyrannosaurus bataar, 8-feet high and 24-feet long, will be contingent upon resolution of a court proceeding.

NEW YORK – One of the great dinosaurs of the Cretaceous era, an eight-foot tall, 24-foot long, 75% complete Tyrannosaurus bataar – the slightly smaller Asian counterpart to the legendary North American T-Rex – has sold for $1,052,500, contingent upon resolution of a Texas state court proceeding. Heritage Auctions sold this dinosaur on May 20 as part of the company’s Natural History auction at Center 548 (548 W. 22^nd Street, between 10^th Ave. and West Street). The entire auction realized $2.63 million, not counting post-auction sales, which are still in progress.

“This is a once in a generation dinosaur and collectors definitely responded to both its rarity and its fierce beauty,” said David Herskowitz, Director of Natural History at Heritage Auctions. “A dino like this is rare to come across in any condition, let alone one as pristine as this.”

The sale – marking the first time a fully prepared Tyrannosaur has been made available at public auction (“Sue” the T-Rex was sold in 1996, but was still in field jackets) – was not without controversy, as the Mongolian government released a statement 48 hours before the auction suggesting the fossil belonged to the country.

“We respect the various opinions on the subject and wish to protect the legal rights of all parties involved,” said Greg Rohan, President of Heritage Auctions. “We have legal assurances from our reputable consignors that the specimen was obtained legally. As far as we know, the Mongolian government has not produced any evidence that the piece originated in its territory, but the final determination will be up to the American legal system.”

The proceedings were not without event, however, as Mongolia’s Texas-based attorney, without authority from the New York judicial system, tried to interrupt the auction.

The Tyrannosaurus bataar roamed what is now Central Asia in the Cretaceous period, around 80 million years ago. The dino had been in storage in England, still in its field jackets, until it was brought to the United States last year.

I really do not like these people.

I will let you all know if there are any more updates.

Manic Monday

Mon, 14 May 2012 10:36:31 +1000

This working week has started with a series of shallow disasters (much like my life really).

I woke up in a state of panic, after a nightmare in which I had lost every draft of the novel I’ve been sporadically working on since I left university as well as any other piece of writing/short story/prose I have ever done. My panic escalated upon realising I had also slept through my alarms and was supposed to be leaving the house in ten minutes. Knowing it was going to be a cold day, and that I had to dress fast I pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank top. It was at this point I realized I must have eaten something over the past few days that contained wheat as I had, what can only be described as, the third world bloat, happening. I put on the baggiest (and daggiest) top I own and went in search of boots. Couldn’t find the ones I wanted.

Since I couldn’t find the boots I wanted, and I didn’t have time to change, I decided the only option was to sit on the floor and take to my (Sass & Bide aka stupid expensive but incredibly comfortable and flattering) jeans with some scissors as they’re far too long. After 15 minutes of hacking away at them, they were finally at an accepable length to wear with a pair of converse (hopefully the tailor I go to will be able to hem them again…).

I grabbed my stuff and headed out of my room, only to slide down the tiled hallway on cat vomit which I then had to spend another 10 minutes cleaning up while the other cat jumped and slid along the wet floor leaving paw prints everywhere doubling the time it took to clean.

I was now running 45 minutes behind my usual morning routine. I saved time by taking my toast with me and decided that extreme times call for extreme measures and in such extreme time’s I’m allowed to have a redbull, only the second one I’ve had since I quit. Once in the car I cracked open the delicious, tooth enamel stripping, heart hurting, elixir. Naturally, I proceeded to spill it all over myself so I had 3/4 a can of said elixir (probably a good thing really).

I somehow managed to make it into the office unscathed. However, it hasn’t been the best start to the week lets hope it gets better!

Crossing the Comedy Line

Fri, 04 May 2012 15:43:05 +1000

Huffington Post have just started a new series called Crossing the Line. It fits perfectly into the freedom of comedy speech group Gemma and I created and I really hope it lives up to its potential.

I started writing a blog about this, and by started I mean I sort of typed a few words that took me to the literacy level of a 10 year old at best. It appears that I have exhausted my brain for the day and have lost the ability to coherantly string words together that make any kind of sense. In other words, I’m not too good with the thinking right now.

I have no segue to this so just read the article if you like or love comedy or have an interest in censorship and freedom of speech.

Crossing The Life with Jeffrey Ross

Neon Museum, Las Vegas

Thu, 03 May 2012 09:07:52 +1000

I know that Las Vegas needs to constantly be reinventing itself in order to keep operating and bring the tourists in, however it breaks my heart that they need to demolish the very establishments that made Vegas what it is today in order to do that. I don’t care how shitty the Stardust, New Fronteir or Sahara were compared to the modern day hotels, they had character and charm and for me, were an integral part of why I visited Vegas and I know I’m not the only one.

There’s now only three pre-WWII hotel/casinos remaining and who knows how long they have left. Most of the mid-century establishments are long gone or on the chopping block. PRESERVATION!

During the recession, Vegas got hit pretty hard. Yet the idea seemed to be lets just keep destroying and rebuilding. This makes me very sad. Why not embrace the history, as sordid (yet fascinating) as it may be. Surely it couldn’t cost as much as it does to build an entire new casino as it would to bring an awesome old one up to a four star standard to entice people back in there?

At least something is preserved from these landmarks, thankyou Neon Museum.

instagram:

Ever wonder what happens to all those neon signs that line the Las Vegas Strip when they’re taken down? They end up at the Neon Museum! The Neon Museum is a non-profit in Las Vegas dedicating to preserving Las Vegas’s iconic art form, and it’s a must-visit spot for great Instagram photos!

Photos by @logos728, @sv1, @40_in, @karaannbanana, @petitserif, @rockstarmomlv, @labeaufrand, @alphabetarm, @cshimala, @robgwilson, @toomuchfire, @apocryphanow, @mygulrealsun & @li150girl.

Just watched episode 3 of whisker wars. This is, without a doubt...

Wed, 02 May 2012 15:27:24 +1000

Just watched episode 3 of whisker wars. This is, without a doubt the coolest, raddest and most hilarious beard EVER! I think I love this man.

shesdamagedgoods:

Brandon Biggins with his freestyle ski slope beard.

Any day Jareth, that damn baby is all yours!...

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:22:17 +1000

Any day Jareth, that damn baby is all yours!

labyrinthnook:

Love me, fear me, and I will be your slave.

Last night my friend asked me what my ideal aesthetic man-type...

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:07:50 +1000

Last night my friend asked me what my ideal aesthetic man-type is. Today this photo turns up in my feed. It’s this. Maybe add some tattoos, but this is the gist of it.

greatbeardrebellion:

Man. Beard. Banjo.

I just discovered iTunes genius. It really is genius! It also...

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:58:13 +1000

I just discovered iTunes genius. It really is genius!
It also pretty much categorizes my taste in music and puts it in a nutshell.
I’m currently listening to the country genius mix. Its almost like it can sense my mood. Maybe it can. Creepy. In a good way.

Tomorrow I have to take the she-devil cat for her yearly...

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 13:10:03 +1000

Tomorrow I have to take the she-devil cat for her yearly exorcism (mood balancing injection and check up). I’m glad I only have to go through this ordeal once a year in general because getting her to the vet is a horrendous and difficult experience.

In order to put her in the cat box I need to put on gardening gloves and enlist the help of my mother (she’s the only one who is brave enough to be in the same room as us when the cat box is involved). Mum holds the lid of the catbox while I lower Buffy into it, kicking and screaming.

Once we arrive at the vet a new kind of hell is raised, in past years she has pushed everything she could reach off the vets table. Attacked the vet, tried to claw his eyes out and tried to attack a dog through the cage door.

However, it’s worth it because for the next 10 months of the year she is a much nicer cat and doesn’t attack everyone who walks past her.

2012 is definitely the year of the trashbag. Here are some...

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 14:59:18 +1000

Texts from Last Night

2012 is definitely the year of the trashbag. Here are some photos of me and some of my favourite trashbags (yeah, I’m missing heaps but this is what was easily accessible, I know there’s more of you). So I dedicate this post, and every bruise, to all my favourite trashbags. For those who don’t know what one is I’ve summarized urban dictionaries many definitions into one accurate and concise blog.

TRASHBAG

Trash bag is an Australian invented word, but a global concept.
A Trash bag is one who engages in excessive behaviour while partying, and
generally makes a disgrace of themselves - in a good way.

Often after a heavy period of partying, a seasoned trashbag will develop “trash bag lag” which is a condition very simliar to jet lag caused by lack of sleep.

True trash bagging doesn’t involve just alcohol. It is a way of life.

On a night out, a Trash bag should participate in at least 5 of the
following:

*Drinking at least a bottle of wine or cheap champagne BEFORE leaving
the house

*Drinking more than 10 jagerbombs

*Eating in at least three of the major fast food outlets in the course
of one evening

*Starting up deep conversations with randoms while waiting in the
toilet queue.

*Dancing on any available table, not discriminating against pool tables
of course.

*Screaming I LOVE THIS SONG for every song.

*Having the bouncers, bar staff and dj all know you at your local

*Putting your bags on the floor and dancing around them so you have
more movement.

*Inventing new dance moves, such as the moose, the elephant

*Bringing out old dance moves such as the monkey, the nut bush or the
sprinkler

*~~Clearing~~ Owning the dance floor and getting strange looks from everyone that’s
not you

*Taking a hip flask of vodka in your handbag or jacket

*Starting drinking at 3pm

*Continuing till the next afternoon

*Staying somewhere till you get kicked out, then catching a cab to
somewhere else that’s 5mins down the road.

*Walking out of a club and the sun is up.

*Doing the walk of shame, either home or out of the club, with shoes in
hand.

*Crying/stacking it/booting/all three

*Sustaining an unidentified party injury

*Making emotional phone calls to friends you haven’t spoken to in a
while. Or worse, family.

*Getting into serious conversations with cab drivers that end with you
mocking and insulting them.

*Pre drinks before going out is not an idea, it is a necessity

I dedicate this song to the trashbags:

Alcohol is Awesome by Bourbon Crow

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2012

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 09:44:07 +1000

I have just returned from what could only be described as an epic whirlwind trip to Melbourne for this years comedy festival. In between drinking and tearing up the festival club dance floor, I did manage to see some fantastic shows. This is my shortlist of shows/artists that you shouldn’t miss if you are heading to Melbourne for the last week of the festival, or if you happen to notice any of these shows are heading your way.

My judging criteria is as follows:
- How much did it make me laugh? If I laughed almost constantly the entire way through, then its on the list.
-Originality: is there something unique about it? Does it deviate from straight up stand-up (not that there’s anything wrong with that, if done exceptionally well. but I personally like things that are a little different and out of the box)
-Crowdwork: if there is crowd work does it add to the show? If there’s heckling how is it dealt with?

There’s a few more elements to it but I’m far too broken to point them out.
Here are (in no particular order) my list of shows not to be missed

1. Set List: its no secret that this is one of my favorite comedy shows. EVER. In it’s simplest form its improvisational stand-up. It is pure comedy and it challenges the comedians in ways they’ve never been challenged and it really does weed out those who have talent versus those who have a writer and stage presence. Hosted by The Aristocrats Paul Provenza, the lineup changes every night and this festival has featured everyone from Wil Anderson, Sam Simmons, Rove McManus, to up and coming comics like Damian Smith and Laura Davies. Lineups are posted daily on the Set list facebook page.

2. Alex Horne - Seven Years in the Bathroom: you may already know Alex Horne as the maestro of the Horne Section (who I didnt see this year, but very much enjoyed last year), and this is his first solo show. Alex has condensed the average lifespan of the “typical male” down to one hilarious hour. It is so clever, so so clever and so damn funny.

3. Tim Key - Masterslut: how could I not see a show called “masterslut”? Tim Key is a very charming man. I can’t even begin to explain as to why this show was so funny I could barley breathe in parts, but it is. There’s poetry, there’s the process of writing poetry, storytelling and a bath. The thing that ties this wonderfully shambolic show together is the bath and how wonderful a bath is. If you don’t fall in love with Tim by the end of the show there’s something wrong with you.

4. Dixie’s Tupperwear Party: this show is the kind of thing that’s right up my alley. According to the show description Dixie Longate is America’s Southern Fried answer to Dame Edna. This show was camp and hilarious. Obscene, wrongtown and wonderful.

5. Xavier Michelides is The Brain Whisperer: this show is one hell of a well rounded comedy performance. It includes everything, stand-up, character work, bizarre dancing, storytelling and more. While it may seem that a show spanning so many genre’s might come across as messy and disjointed, this excursion through Xavier’s brain certainly isn’t.

I saw a ton of other fantastic shows, some of them have now ended, others are friends so I’m being objective here and only listing my top 5.

The Labyrinth is and will always be my favourite movie of all...

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 15:12:16 +1000

The Labyrinth is and will always be my favourite movie of all time.

I need to start writing again

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 23:18:21 +1000

Since I didn’t have a creative direction I decided to start documenting my recent epic adventures & collate as many as I can find or recall for the purpose of transforming them into some kind of narrative, that may turn into a book. I’ve wanted to write since I was a child, but have never had the drive or persistence it takes to complete anything. Plus I spent three years of my life doing a creative writing degree and I had a distinction average for awhile there and was the favorite of quite a few courses. Alas, I fucked around too much in my last year and decided not to do what it took to do honors or post grad cause I’m an idiot.

I am still pretty proud of the fact I got called in for plagiarism because the short story I wrote was deemed too good for a 20 year old to be able to write with such maturity. (that last sentence was awkward and grammatically incorrect but I’m too tired to reword).

Anyway, I once again digress (which is yet another reason I’ve never completely finished a single personal project I’ve started).

I have done way too many stupid things (& men) to not share my boozy misadventures. I have no idea how it’s going to go yet, but I’m going to try and get all my journals out this long weekend. Im hoping once I get them all together for a rewrite something might form that will bring it all together.

Since alcohol adventures are usually tainted by memory loss, if anyone has a memory of something stupid or hilarious I’ve done while they’ve been out partying with me, or really any memories of the Sparrow in full flight it would be MUCH appreciated if you could email it to me - pinkette @ me.com - I need to fill in many blanks.

This morning I accepted a hot cross bun from a stranger, not...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 21:45:00 +1000

This morning I accepted a hot cross bun from a stranger, not just any stranger, but a stranger peddling religious propaganda. Now most of you know I’m an avid collector of flyers pertaining to Christian propaganda, one day I hope to make some kind of fantastic piece of postmodern art from them. I digress. I can’t eat hot cross buns because I’m gluten intolerant, I just wanted the flyer. As I was accepting this somewhat sinister gift (how do we know it’s not some kind of cultish trickery?) I thought wouldn’t it be more appropriate for them to be taking these hot cross buns to feed the homeless? Wouldn’t that be a far more beneficial exercise than trying to convert the middle class on their way to work? Does it ever work? “why did you join the Anglican church?” well quite simply they gave me a sweet treat at Easter so I decided I wasn’t getting enough freebies from (insert spiritual belief system here) so I converted, I hear they also put on a mean sausage sizzle on election day…

Alcohol Is Awesome - Bourbon Crow (by SalandFindles) I love...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:13:23 +1000

Alcohol Is Awesome - Bourbon Crow (by SalandFindles)

I love songs about drinking. This one is especially great.

“Dear alcohol, last night we had ball, I lost my left shoe don’t worry, I don’t blame you.
You’re my best friend there till the end I love that way you taste you put a smile on my face.

And you get all the blame but as far as I’m concerned AA stands for alcohol is awesome

Alcohol is awesome

All my friends are worried about me
they say I need mayday, they say I’ve got a problem I don’t have a problem
Still don’t have that problem

And you get all the blame but as far as I’m concerned AA stands for alcohol is awesome

Alcohol is awesome, so fucking awesome

And you get all the blame but as far as I’m concerned AA stands for alcohol is awesome

Alcohol is awesome, so fucking awesome”

Quitting red bull: Day two

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 21:00:39 +1100

6:50am - considering alternative methods of consumption that don’t go via my teeth.
1. Shooting it straight down my throat with a water pistol
2. Lying in a red bull filled bath & absorbing it through my pores
3. Red Bull IV drip
4. Finding a way to make it a powder & snorting it.

8:48am - I decide combat the shakes by having what is now known in the Office as the “Peter North Double” two shots of espresso. The first one I made I filled the coffee machine with sugar instead of coffee, after staring at the cup wondering why the liquid wasn’t coffee coloured it wasn’t until I undid the machine that I figured out what I did. The next one I spilled everywhere. Third time lucky.

3:27pm - have given up on putting milk in coffee. I want coffee in my coffee.

6:38pm - to say that the lack of red bull is making me short tempered would be an understatement. I’m also about to start PMS-ing. Seriously, don’t come near me.

Day one sans red bull

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 22:16:17 +1100

10:13pm - I don’t know if it’s jet lag or withdrawal but I’ve completely lost the fucking plot.

What kind of idiot decides to give up their biggest addiction when they’ve not only got jet lag but are also under a fuck ton of stress? This idiot that’s who.

Pass the Xanax, it’s gonna be a long night.